Thursday, May 17, 2007

Nowadays I feel like...

Sometimes, I feel like I am not living my life to its full potential. I know that I can always be better placed in life, and I do have an idea on how to achieve it, but somehow, I always fail in achieving it. It's a vicious circle that I desperately want to break, or at least get out of. But it has always been the same old story - I tried and I failed.

Sometimes I think that I've not been pushing the envelope as much as I should, that I've been cautious and careless (if such a situation is possible) in living my life; I've been cautious when I shouldn't have been and careless when I should have been careful. But those thoughts ultimately lead to regret, and as I steadfastly maintain, I try to live my life without any regrets because having regrets means that prior to making a decision, you did not consider all your options and the decision that you made was not the best that you could have done.

If that is the case, then what the hell is my problem? Why do I still think that I am not living my life to the fullest? It's because of what's happening to me. I'm not looking at what might have happened to me in the past - had I chosen to do this instead of that - but rather to the future. I already have a preconceived notion of what my future should be, and right now, I am trying my best to achieve that future. However, with all that's been happening around me (things that are within and beyond my control), and how fast they are happening, I begin to feel that I can achieve it, no matter what may happen.

However, an idea just popped into my head as I am typing this... Nope I just lost it... Sorry. I just hope I can recover that idea so I can add it here.