Thursday, December 13, 2007

are matches made in the heaven ???

"are we accountable for our actions and the choices we end up making or is there a bigger force i.e., fate, guiding us towards our destiny.....if i be a little stubborn and end a relationship today, although having a good enough reason for my action, then if its my destiny to be with the same guy, then wud it be that he just hangs on even after i leave him no room for any further contact with me and somehow i end up giving in to him....and being with him for the rest of my life for better or for worse.......!!!!?????or wud he just never want to see me again once i end it with him ??? i responsible? "

A friend posed a question to me and another couple of friends. I seldom believe in fate so I pretended to her as if m thinking. I strongly believe that one gets only what he/she deserves through his/her actions. I din't want to tell her that I don't believe in fate b'cos the situation demanded me to remain silent.

As if to break the silence the other friend started telling his analysis.

"Why does everybody think that free will and God's design are mutually exclusive?

Think of it like this...God sets us multiple choice questions and we choose one of the answers. It applies to all decisions in life.

There is a destiny in the sense you cannot choose answers outside the set God has chosen for that question and there is human will in the sense that one is free to choose from the set one is confronted with.

Now let's apply this to relationships. We pass by hundreds of people every day in the streets yet nothing happens till one day an "incident" changes things and one of those humans comes into focus for us. This incident can be anything-bumping into someone, offering a seat on the subway, moving to a new area. This person becomes a part of the set we may choose from. Yet, this person is just one of the many we can choose from. There are elements of both, a divine plan (the incident) and human will (the choice)".

Being an atheist I tend to stay away from these kinda (God related) topics, especially while I am amongst those who believe, but what I really don't understand is why people bring in the God element in every possible discussion??? even though it's a different issue altogether whether to believe in such an entity or not.

They all are obsessed with the existence of a power which they can utilize when things tend to go out of their hands, when they feel weak or when they want to transfer the responsibilities on to 'his' ( or her :-)  ) shoulders when they feel that no longer they can carry them.

 Before we could settle in the beauty of silence again the one who was quiet till now started giving his part of the 'gyan' as if to make every one think in a totally different track (few people call it as lateral thinking….of course by mistake)

"Interesting how MY concept of destiny and fate is more scientific than religious… it can all be explained by the relative nature of TIME… We as human beings are trapped in the temporal space of time… we have to go THROUGH it to experience OUR future…

So what does that mean?

It means that our past, present and future (aka destiny by some) co-exist if the TIME factor is taken away… THAT future is destiny (that what has been predetermined because it technically exists NOW!) I probably am not making sense to most of you :) But it all depends on the concept of timelessness… which makes 'fate' and 'destiny' a VERY real thing.

Now as to what was originally posed as a question… are we responsible for our actions or is fate guiding us...

WE are responsible for our actions… fate cannot guide us… it EXISTS solely because of the decisions we make today… and so I like to believe "Destiny is dynamic" and it depends on TODAY".


Thursday, September 20, 2007

oink :-)

I just dunno about myself. No matter how many times I told myself not to think anymore, I'd still end up thinking anyway.
Seriously, I dunno what's wrong with ME! I've only started to feel like this recently.
I think alot about almost everything. Random stuff. Like, why is the sky blue.
Just kidding.
But, hmmm..... Really, why is the sky blue arh?

Monday, August 13, 2007


I love imagining things. So whenever somebody says something funny,  I'm the one to laugh more than anybody else as I imagine the rest of the doubt with a touch of bollywood in it. I don't have to try too hard, explicitly, imagining something, it just appears naturally before my eyes.

When I have nothing to do, my favourite pass time is imagining something…something really weird at times. Its more fun when I'm driving  or going for a walk. Well, I really like going for long walks. Sometimes I even go alone. okei, so lets get back to imagination.

Nowadays, as I'm away from home, I imagine the scene at the airport. It goes something like this :
I'm coming out in my favourite duds, with luggage on a trolley (the typical trolleys at the airport). Just near the gate, my parents and friends are eagerly watching all the people coming out searching for me. I'm also looking out for them and there I see them all, standing, waving and smiling and going really mad after seeing me. Everybody's face lights up and all of us flash a close-up smile..ear-to-ear smile.
I literally rush there and hug each one of them tightly. I'm surrounded by the people who love me the most and I feel like I'm in peace with the world again. A halo seems to appear over my head. It feels so good to be back again. Then each one examines me closely, and speaks out his/her observation. Someone says, "Hey your hair has grown so much.."  or "your skin has become tanned…" its all a mess. Well, I agree, because it already has become a mess and there are still few more months to go :). Someone would say, u have lost/gained weight. Whatever they say, I'll just laugh it off.
When we settle in our car, its time to start talking about the gifts that I have bought and most importantly chocolates !! I open a pack of chocolates and everyone just grabs them in no time.....I feel sleepy and tired after a long journey of 9 hours, but too happy to sleep.
Well, I'll stop here now...otherwise will start feeling really homesick…he he….
So that's about my imagination. I hope some of you also must be eager to indulge in this event when my imagination turns into a reallity.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Die Another Day

'Die another day….', I said to her, as I held her close to me. 'Die another day, when I'm not there to see it', this was the thought that kept pounding me everytime my eyes met hers. The eyes which once talked millions, now looked me with sheer helplessness. Salasha was my soulmate. Like whoever said, 'It takes two to tango' said it right. We could make things happen only when we did it together. We vibed really well right from day 1. We were the envy among our vast circle of friends, with each of them vying to find for themselves, the kind of bonding that they found in us. It is said that its easy to die for a friend, but indeed a tough task to be able to find that special friend, who is worth dying for. And yes, that special friend of mine they called Salasha.

Our friendship dates back to our post-school days. We were just out of school & the big hunt for admissions into college was on full-swing. Man, those were the days of utmost excitement, anxiety & fear. Fear of the new kinda world that we'd be stepping into to carve a niche for ourselves in the mad world of tough competition, which screams 'survival of the fittest', loud into our ears.

Salasha & her family had moved into our neighbourhood during this time & the first conversation that we had was indeed a memorable one, with all the accented English that Salasha had used to impress her new found friend. I felt it damn funny though. We then discovered that we had enrolled into the same college though in totally different streams. While I had taken up science, Salasha had enrolled for commerce. So the two of us were pretty excited that we had company to college & back, everyday. Hence began our wonderful journey of friendship, which had seen its ups & downs during the course of time. The more the number of 'downs', the more stronger grew our bond.

Salasha had been an ace student at college. Topped in studies, excelled in other activities like debate & drama & was a very active member of the cultural club of college, hence was widely known by all for her bubbly nature. Me on the other hand, was just an average student & loved to stay away from the glare of all, loved to be to myself as much as possible…& they say, 'Opposites attract'

Over with PU, we then parted ways as she'd taken up BBM in another college while I continued in the same. Nevertheless, we missed each other's company terribly. Out there she got to make more friends & we would exchange a daily digest of the day's events. Never missed anything at all that happened with either of us.

As the days went by, Salasha had found a special someone in her life. He had been her classmate & the two of them seemed to have discovered a lot of commonalities between them & so had begun enjoying each other's company. However, she had never mentioned to me, the special kinda liking that she'd developed for him, but had introduced him to me as her classmate, a good friend.

Days went by & life went on. On a warm Sunday morning, I was still deep asleep when mom woke me up saying that Sayil wanted to see me urgently. Sayil was Salasha's maid. Still dazed at being woken up in the middle of my deep slumber, I lazily got out of bed, only to find a totally frenzied Sayil waiting outside my room. Sensing something wrong from the petrified look on her face, I was now totally in my senses, forgetting about the grumble to have to wake up earlier than ever. I could see fear, helplessness writ large on Sayil's face. My throat went dry as I asked Sayil what the matter was. Her hands trembling, Sayil gave me the shocking news & I felt that my world came crumbling down on me….. I nearly fainted.

The next moment I was at Salasha's bedside, after informing my parents about the mishap. I was totally frozen not knowing what to do or how to react. All I saw was Salasha gasping for breath. The lady had taken an over dose of sleeping pills. I felt her body & it was turning cold. Desperately tried rubbing some balm on her feet & palms in order to generate some heat. Her parents weren't in town & with just Sayil around, I just couldn't figure out what I needed to do or how quickly I needed to act. Grief had transcended on me with a terrible blow.

Just a stone's throw away lives our family doctor. The next minute I was racing away to fetch her in order to help my dying friend. On narrating what had happened, the lady came rushing at once, while I actually thought she'd back out for the fear that this could turn out to be a police case. But my worries got the better of me, when the good Samaritan that she was, shunned any inhibitions & set out to save my friend. Salasha's pulse was fast deteriorating & she needed to be rushed to the hospital, with no further delay. Parents in tow, we managed to get Salasha to a nearby nursing home while her parents were also informed about the mishap & who had started immediately.

And now Salasha is by my side. The damage had already been done. I once again said, 'die another day' & all I could see was her tear clouded eyes, which wanted to say a million things to me & the quick deep breaths that she was taking out of the respiratory support that she was put on. It's really difficult to explain what I went through that day while I was waiting on her…never want to say waiting for her to die. Her failed relationship with that classmate of hers, had led her to take this extreme step. I was totally mad at her for this but at the same time wanted to be empathetic towards her. Sitting beside her, all the wonderful times of our togetherness, came flashing by, scene after scene. My head pounding, my body trembling, engulfed by dizziness & with one final grasp at my angel's hand, I blacked out.

I woke up on the hospital bed only to see my worried parents by my side. I still couldn't figure out if all this had actually been happening or was it just a terrible nightmare. Hoped greatly that it'd be the later, but alas that was not to be. Trying to bring myself up, I finally got to learn that Salasha had left for her heavenly abode. My mind was totally blank. I felt that I was going insane & wept uncontrollably. I was struck by a number of waves & thoughts that day, the day when the dear departed had left a big void in my now lonely world. Perhaps, it was the envy of my friends that had separated us forever. But that's just a physical separation. The moments that I spent with Salasha is etched deep in my heart & would only die with me. However, the reason behind why she'd kept me in the dark about her love life still remains a mystery. Perhaps she thought that I would divulge it to her parents, as she very well knew that I'd never entertain anything like this.

Now its been four long years since she's gone & I'm here going through my life with only her fond memories as solace during my tough times. I know she's always around me & is wishing well for me & I strongly hope that we'd be born friends again, the next time around. I'd now like to end this on a wonderful note which goes thus "A Friend is one of life's Blessings. To be a Friend, is to be a little towards Heaven…. each day"!!!

Salasha had been a wonderful blessing to me – never say die, but live forever in my heart!

 --Authored by my beloved friend Akshatha G 

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Nowadays I feel like...

Sometimes, I feel like I am not living my life to its full potential. I know that I can always be better placed in life, and I do have an idea on how to achieve it, but somehow, I always fail in achieving it. It's a vicious circle that I desperately want to break, or at least get out of. But it has always been the same old story - I tried and I failed.

Sometimes I think that I've not been pushing the envelope as much as I should, that I've been cautious and careless (if such a situation is possible) in living my life; I've been cautious when I shouldn't have been and careless when I should have been careful. But those thoughts ultimately lead to regret, and as I steadfastly maintain, I try to live my life without any regrets because having regrets means that prior to making a decision, you did not consider all your options and the decision that you made was not the best that you could have done.

If that is the case, then what the hell is my problem? Why do I still think that I am not living my life to the fullest? It's because of what's happening to me. I'm not looking at what might have happened to me in the past - had I chosen to do this instead of that - but rather to the future. I already have a preconceived notion of what my future should be, and right now, I am trying my best to achieve that future. However, with all that's been happening around me (things that are within and beyond my control), and how fast they are happening, I begin to feel that I can achieve it, no matter what may happen.

However, an idea just popped into my head as I am typing this... Nope I just lost it... Sorry. I just hope I can recover that idea so I can add it here.

Friday, January 26, 2007

The Monsoon Rain

I went into the theatre with high expectations based on the strong recommendation I got from my dearest friend. The film opened and I was shocked beyond my remotest imagination. Was that an intro? That was one of the crappiest opening scenes I have seen. Boy sees girl-goes backward-falls in manhole-girl lifts him up despite the stench-boy falls deeply in love with girl.Wow now we all know how to fall in love, don’t we???This scene should have been handled more carefully. + MG road/brigade road coffee shops play Kannada FM radio stations??? Since when??? The story doesn’t make sense at all. Then the hero is off to Coorg and here also coincidence... Heroine also headed that way. Wow what a lucky hero. The chances of a normal human being to be in our hero's shoes is 10000000000 in 1. He's a lucky bugger!!! He is also the son of a crorepati and drives a merc!!!

Anyways, from here I started liking the film. The fight scene is shown realistically. The hero gets beaten but also hits back well. From here on the other hero of the film is the cameraman. What fantastic camera work and cinematography!!!!

The good points of 'Mungaru Male' include the fantastic songs composed by Mano Murthy of USA (‘onde ondu sari’ and ‘anisutide yako indu’ are the hit songs of the year), good lyrics (one by Jayant Kaykini is simply superb) and good camera work by Krishna. The dialogues are moving in few scenes (esp when the hero gets drunk). The major portion of the film is shot in outdoors in the background of rain and it has a spectacular look on screen…...especially Sakleshpur, which is my second most favourite destination on the earth. And the dance directors have also worked well.

Ganesh has worked hard to deliver a lively performance. The heroine is wasted. Anant Nag, the master in support roles, shines in his role.

It is a city bred youth Preetham's journey of love throughout. Born in an affluent family he sees the beautiful Nandini but unknowingly falls in a pit. His going is pitiable. That is because he values the emotions of elders. In the meantime he gives a 'laugh riot'. That is Preetham's nature. He never sits idle, makes pranks keeps you happy. His style of address is very natural and he is a boy next door quality. He is in love with Nandini. It is love at first sight. He is in the picturesque locale of Sakleshpur in the house of Nandini that too on the occasion of her marriage that is all fixed. He is in a fix what to do. He tries hard and he is almost very near to success. But the boy of butter nature values the emotions that you would see in the heart touching climax. The protagonist who made you laugh for 12 reels makes you cry in the end. What a pity for the hero! Love is eternal you feel. But the director says sacrifice is eternal and love is only pleasant.

Ganesh is glorious throughout the film. The success of the movie has vindicated his ability. He is quick on the screen and diction is very sweet like his chubby cheeks His scene at the end where he has to show his grief must have touched many hearts in the theatre. The acting in that scene is priceless. The smile after the fight with the villain is unforgettable. Really good emoting by Ganesh. He is an unconventional hero who has shown a great promise to succeed if he works even harder. He is good in almost all departments like Dance, sentiment scenes and of course comedy….But I thought that dancing in the song ‘onde ondu saari’ was alien to him as it is a V-channel-kinda dance which he is not used to as he is not grown up in an urban environment. He should work towards getting a good physique. I feel that he is going to get a permanent place of hero in Kannada cinema if he works hard.
Krishna in the camera has done wonders. Perhaps no one has captured the Jog Falls so well in the camera. The world famous water fall falling from top is captured brilliantly.
I have heard lot of people saying that story is not so gripping. But I liked the story very much. I have similar kind of story hovering in my mind perhaps with a better and weird ending but had speculation that people are going to accept this kind of a story or not…after this overwhelming response I think people will like my story as well…have to start authoring it soon

If I get deeper into the story I feel that the heroine’s role is not properly developed. How on earth any girl who loved a guy more than herself leave him alone when he projects himself to be a play boy?? I thought she could have put some more effort to find out the truth. Instead she ensconced herself in the hands of a hunky guy.
Our hero became a drunkard because of her frivolity and by looking the way the climax is shot I feel that he is going to suffer till the end.

One thing which I didn’t like about the movie is the sad ending of our poor Devdas. I want to see Devdas, the rabbit alive again...I dont know how but I want!!!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Miyan at the junction

I see him every working day. He stands there at the same spot. He is regular and punctual and goes about doing his ‘job’ sincerely. I don’t know whether he ‘works’ on weekends because I don’t have to go that way during weekends. I didn’t think much about him when I saw him for the first time. But I saw him the next day, and the next day and the next and I have got so used to seeing him that whenever I reach that junction and someone’s blocking my line of sight, I crane my neck and look around to check whether he’s there or not, much to the irritation of my wife who thinks I am ogling at other girls. Now, before I let your thoughts go wild about my fascination for a ‘he’, let me clarify.

My daily morning trip to office takes me through a few major intersections of the city. I don’t recall the faces of all the traffic policemen who man each one of those junctions, even though, unconsciously, I see them every day. I do remember an old traffic police man who is posted at a junction near to a school and I have seen many a times, the awe with which little kids look at him and gather around him like a flock of ducklings and he keeps checking their count like a worried mother duck. And when he feels that quite a few of them have gathered, the superman police uncle walks into the middle of the road and raises his hands on both sides to stop the inconsiderate traffic and the kids tumble over to the other side. Other than him I don’t recall any other traffic policeman whom I ‘meet’ everyday, except of course, that silly fellow who challaned me for jumping a red light. I can pick him out from a battalion of his species any day.

But ‘he’ is different from all of them. He stands alongside a traffic policeman in the middle of a major intersection and helps manage the traffic. He looks like he would be in his forties and has an obvious paunch. He wears his religious cap and civilian clothes…wait a second…Religious cap and civilian clothes and manages traffic??? That’s what caught my attention about this ‘duty bound’ miyan. The first day I saw him assisting the policeman while engaging him in a friendly chat and breaking into smiles every now and then, I thought he must be a friend of the cop and they must have met up after a long time. But it happened again the next day, only this time, the cop was a different guy. Now, I guess nobody can blame me for my interest, or rather, inquisitiveness about this miyan at the junction. I have always wanted to find out why he was doing what he was doing and have contemplated on walking up to him and asking him who he is. But on second thoughts, reason prevailed over curiosity.

One lazy Saturday evening some train of thought took me to that miyan. Again the urge rose in me to explore the identity of that miyan. While I was still thinking about strategies to successfully undertake “Operation Miyan identification”, a flash of thought struck me. Let’s say for argument sake that I come to know who he is; but what after that. In case the reason for him being there turns out to be less interesting than what I had envisaged it to be, I would be disappointed. Wouldn’t it be more interesting if I involved more minds and came out with myriad possibilities of who he could be and what he could be doing there? And hence began my small project and the results, as expected, were very interesting.

“Koi pagal hoga yaar”; “Must be a cop who hates uniform”; “Maybe he’s from an NGO or a social worker”; “Maybe he lost a near or dear one in that junction”; “Can be some criminal sentenced to a term of social service”

Human thought process is sometimes unpredictable and very fascinating. A simple miyan in civilian clothes assisting traffic turned out be everything from a lunatic to a convict to a respectable social worker. Even though it was interesting to collect these beads of thought, the social worker possibility struck me as being pretty close to reality because I am reminded of a “Traffic Baba” in Noida. Sector 18 in Noida is where ‘Noidans’ flock whenever they get free time. In the midst of all the snazzy cars and glitzy showrooms, a nondescript old man wearing a white cap, a white flowing robe which has turned brown because of the dust and smoke, can be seen slowly walking in between the vehicles which have stopped at a signal. He hangs two large placards on his neck with one facing front and one facing back. The placard neatly lists down the most common traffic rules and precautions that we follow, or rather, we don’t. He also has a hand held microphone with a speaker with which he ensures that he gets his message across, in case people chose to look the other way..

People and local media say that he is from a well to do family and does this part time because of his heightened sense of responsibility to society. Whoever he may be, I have seen even the toughest and the most rowdy looking motorists relenting to his pleas when he comes beside them and requests once, twice, thrice and as many times as he can, in a tone which comes close to begging, to either buckle up or wear a helmet or stop behind the white line. He is least bothered about the sneers and taunts that some ‘normal’ mortals pass about him. Nothing stops him from doing his rounds of the traffic signal everyday and getting rebuked by many, just to ensure that roads are safer for everybody using it.

Whenever I think of people like the Miyan and the Traffic Baba I feel a vacuum in my heart. I have read a zillion cases of people starting cancer foundations because they lost a near or dear one to cancer, of people plunging into charities because of some tragedy. Is it necessary that a tragedy has to trigger our sense of responsibility to our society? I don’t subscribe to a general feeling that to be socially responsible has to do with starting an NGO or donating millions to a cause. Putting a piece of waste into a dustbin is social responsibility, switching off computers when not in use is social responsibility, following traffic rules, standing up for a legitimate cause, giving and taking respect and a million other trivial actions such as these amount to us being socially responsible.

As long as we consider the Miyan at the junction and Traffic Baba as lunatics and convicts, I guess we have a long way to go before we can sleep peacefully without any fear of an impending misfortune.

-Authored by my well-liked friend Arundeep S